Friday, June 25, 2010

Overbearing Relatives

Normally, I keep rants off of my blog. I just don't feel it is the place to do that, but today I just need to. What do you do with overbearing relatives that can't or won't respect your choices as a parent?

My husband and I work really hard to teach our children how to make healthy food choices. It is something that my husband has had to work really hard at. He is a very selective eater. He would be completely happy with just meat and potatoes. Vegetables are a tough sale with him. But, I appreciate his effort to eat more of them. He tries to be an example for our children.

I do limit the amount of fast food and junk food I allow my children to have.
Do I completely outlaw it? No. I am very happy to give them a treat.

Do they need it everyday or after every meal? NO! I am not a bad parent for limiting treats!

I can not get certain relatives to understand this! I am met with comments like," ooh, well they needed a milkshake. It was hot." My children are 2 and 5. They both don't need medium shakes or whole ice cream sundaes. They could share, but that never occurs to this person. Or we go out to eat and I order water for all of us. This person says,"they don't need water, they need a sprite" NO, they don't need Sprite. Water is perfectly acceptable. It is continual, if I say no, we don't need (fill in the blank)right now. They go behind me.

My daughter loves M&Ms. But not all the time! I get comments like, "Well, I only buy the dark chocolate. It is good for your heart" It is still chocolate! It is still a treat! To teach them to make healthy choices, I have to teach them moderation. I feel like I am beating my head against a wall, because some relatives won't respect my wishes.

What do I do? I hate being around these people because I am constantly criticized over the choices I make for my children. I know I am not a perfect parent, but I try to be the best I can be for my children. What I need is support from those around us. Help me guide my children to make the best possible choices in all things. Don't undermine my best efforts.


  1. I totally know how you feel! My relative does this with potty-training. My 2 1/2 year old isn't potty trained and she told me "you better do it soon before he gets too strong willed". When I was in the hospital having my third child she actually put him on the toilet and told him he couldn't poop in his diaper any more. When I got back he was terrified of the toilet...ahhhh "realtives"!

  2. I have been there. My first children are older now and can say for themselves, "No thanks. We just want water." But I hate to tell you, it took me finally telling the problem relatives that they couldn't be around us any more if they wouldn't respect our choices. It was hard, but they stopped. I think the food and drink is just a symbol of a deeper problem. If someone won't respect your choices and never, ever question you in front of your children then your time with them should be very limited. It's sad, but I want to encourage you to always remember that your first priority is your children. Sometimes that means making very tough choices. Sorry to go on too long, but I just want you to know you are not alone! Lisa~