Sunday, February 20, 2011

I am turing on my lights!

We have all had those moments when you feel like you either have to sink or swim.   Lately, I have felt that all I was doing was sinking.   The last couple of years have not been kind to my family.   We were faced with illness and death, the loss of a job, and coming very close to losing our home.    Those things really take a toll on you. I have been looking back trying to figure out if I could have done anything differently.    I don't think so.  You roll with the punches and take each day as it comes.  

I have struggled with depression and I am just tired of it!   I rarely post anything that is deeply personal, because that is not why I started my blog.  But, sometimes I need a venting spot and I guess this is it.  
I have been feeling intensely emotional, basically crying all of the time.    I have realized that it is not doing me any good!   I have to make the choice to be happy.  One of my favorite quotes from Harry Potter is :
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

I am turning on the lights! I am going to make being happy and living in the moment a priority.   I am going to have a larger attitude of gratitude, and I have made the decision to go back to school.    I gave up on my dreams, life got in the way, and I shut myself off.    I realized that I am not doing myself or my family any good being this way.  

If I am not living as fully as I can, how am I any good to my family?    I am so thankful that my husband is supportive, when others are not.   Without him, I would be totally lost.  

I am thinking that my blog focus will be changing slightly now.  I had kind of given up on my blog, because I just was not feeling that I could do it anymore.  But, I am not giving up!  I can not do that anymore.   

1 comment:

  1. Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is never perfect for any of us. Don't give up and don't ever feel something is too personal for you to post. It's your space and you can do what you want with it. I spent my first year holding back on what I posted. Holding back seemed so fake to me and that wasn't who I was. Now I post whatever is on my mind and don't think twice about it. You should as well.

    Thank you for linking up with us on Let's Get Social and I hope you have a fantastic week. Feel free to message or email me anytime. :)

    Guide to Smart Shopping