I am turing on my lights!

We have all had those moments when you feel like you either have to sink or swim.   Lately, I have felt that all I was doing was sinking.   The last couple of years have not been kind to my family.   We were faced with illness and death, the loss of a job, and coming very close to losing our home.    Those things really take a toll on you. I have been looking back trying to figure out if I could have done anything differently.    I don't think so.  You roll with the punches and take each day as it comes.  

I have struggled with depression and I am just tired of it!   I rarely post anything that is deeply personal, because that is not why I started my blog.  But, sometimes I need a venting spot and I guess this is it.  
I have been feeling intensely emotional, basically crying all of the time.    I have realized that it is not doing me any good!   I have to make the choice to be happy.  One of my favorite quotes from Harry Potter is :
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

I am turning on the lights! I am going to make being happy and living in the moment a priority.   I am going to have a larger attitude of gratitude, and I have made the decision to go back to school.    I gave up on my dreams, life got in the way, and I shut myself off.    I realized that I am not doing myself or my family any good being this way.  

If I am not living as fully as I can, how am I any good to my family?    I am so thankful that my husband is supportive, when others are not.   Without him, I would be totally lost.  

I am thinking that my blog focus will be changing slightly now.  I had kind of given up on my blog, because I just was not feeling that I could do it anymore.  But, I am not giving up!  I can not do that anymore.